[Dipper doesn't want to help her. She's obviously super mean and probably would just leave him to die. But deep down he knows that's wrong. He knows that even Grunkle Stan would go in brass knuckles blazing, even if he didn't like someone. The Pines family does a lot of things wrong, like petty vandalism, stealing things, and pug trafficking. But when it comes to people, they look out for them.]
[So he does what one of his great-uncles would (reluctantly) do, what Mabel would probably do if she were here, what Wendy or Soos would do, what his parents would probably want him to do.]
[He goes for the one at her leg first. It's too close. One swipe and it could gut her. He grabs with just his bare hands and rips it away from her, kicking it down and stomping on it until it squishes. It scratches his legs up even more as it goes down and he yells a yell that's a lot like the way Dee yelled - a lot of frustration and annoyance instead of just the pain.]
[Then he grabs the pipe from where she dropped it and swings it at the one clawing at her hair as hard as he can. He has a bad angle on it for first swing, so he has to get in closer and when he does, it gets a good swipe in, tearing a jagged line in his shirt and gouging the skin underneath.]
[He hisses in pain, and then beats the stupid thing like a pinata - except what comes out is definitely not candy.]
Owww! Do they not teach the golden rule in monster-baby kindergarten?
[After that one falls with a squish, he turns to face the last one, running over to stand between her and the monster, and hits its head so hard it goes flying off into the grass.]
[Then he turns to her, bleeding from multiple places and panting from a combination of fear, exertion, and adrenaline.]
That's how you handle dead monster-babies without being a self-centered jerk.
no subject
[So he does what one of his great-uncles would (reluctantly) do, what Mabel would probably do if she were here, what Wendy or Soos would do, what his parents would probably want him to do.]
[He goes for the one at her leg first. It's too close. One swipe and it could gut her. He grabs with just his bare hands and rips it away from her, kicking it down and stomping on it until it squishes. It scratches his legs up even more as it goes down and he yells a yell that's a lot like the way Dee yelled - a lot of frustration and annoyance instead of just the pain.]
[Then he grabs the pipe from where she dropped it and swings it at the one clawing at her hair as hard as he can. He has a bad angle on it for first swing, so he has to get in closer and when he does, it gets a good swipe in, tearing a jagged line in his shirt and gouging the skin underneath.]
[He hisses in pain, and then beats the stupid thing like a pinata - except what comes out is definitely not candy.]
Owww! Do they not teach the golden rule in monster-baby kindergarten?
[After that one falls with a squish, he turns to face the last one, running over to stand between her and the monster, and hits its head so hard it goes flying off into the grass.]
[Then he turns to her, bleeding from multiple places and panting from a combination of fear, exertion, and adrenaline.]
That's how you handle dead monster-babies without being a self-centered jerk.
[A pause.]
Jerk.
[He gestures with the pipe.]
Also, I am so not giving this back.